is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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