so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
