Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
