lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
