Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
