Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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