i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
