She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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