You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
soo... how was my night?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
