I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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