Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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