This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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