i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
