Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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