Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
