i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
