when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
