when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
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I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
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