i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
