how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
