how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
