Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
sick fucks of a feather flock together
How external is "for external use only"?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
