Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
