i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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