Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
