sarcasm needs its own font
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
