I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
