brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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