She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think I sprained my soul last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
