you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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