So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
