Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
