morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
