I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
