No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
