So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
