Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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