you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
