Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Couch. On fire.
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