good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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