I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
