I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
