I bet he comes in French.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
