do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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