Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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