i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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