whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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