Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
