I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
