The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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