I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
