I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
