to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
