So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
