I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
