I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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