i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
