Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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