i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
