I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
