Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
