You can't special order awesome
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
