I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
vagina is talking i cant
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
