At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
