We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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