i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
