I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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